Perhaps the scariest moment or most exhilarating, depending on your personality, is that first face-to face meeting with someone you've talked with online. Our readers often share with us that one of the stickiest points in an online relationship is deciding when you're going to meet. Going out on a limb to suggest meeting for the first time can be just as scary as asking someone out in person. But at least there's a computer buffer there. But what if the person you ask to meet says “not yet.”
The big thing to remember is, when your online sweetie tells you that they're not ready to meet, it doesn't mean it's the end. Hearing “not yet” usually does not mean, "no thanks," but it can have various implications on your decision to continue chatting, especially if you're talking to this person exclusively.
If you have experienced this foggy place when dating online, this list of potential causes from MarsVenus.com may help you to uncover what is really going on.
- Your date wants to get to know you better. One of the biggest complaints about online dating is that things progress very quickly, almost at the speed of the Internet itself! Often, people feel more comfortable opening up slowly to their potential mate, and it's important to remember that that's okay. The longer you chat online, the more you'll know about each other when you do meet, and that makes for easier conversation. Maybe your potential mate is new to dating online and they're nervous about meeting someone for the first time. Or perhaps they have had a few bad experiences that have left them a little gun-shy to meeting someone before getting to know them better. Whatever the reason, the question to ask yourself is, “Are you ok with waiting a little longer?”
- Your date has a lot going on in his/her life. Some people are just too busy to devote the time needed to get to know you in person. If they work more than a full time job, have lots of hobbies and plans with friends each night, then travel on the weekends, chances are this person may be difficult to make plans with. While it's certainly not impossible, it can be challenging. If the person only has time to shoot a few e-mails back and forth, but not to meet, it may be time to evaluate whether your pace of life is in line with theirs.
- Your date is dating other people. Many people online are juggling getting to know more than one person at a time. Serial daters usually have to rule someone out before adding another person to the mix. As there is no rule on dating sites telling people that this is not okay, remind yourself that part of your date's hesitancy may simply be that s/he is evaluating their other prospects.
Click here to read part 2 of this article.
For more information about dating coaching please call 1-888-627-7836.
