Online dating is the mystery grab bag of the relationship world. It takes people in all stages of relationship readiness and puts everyone together with a "here you go, have fun" attitude. This can make the whole experience quite exciting, but it can also be a recipe for dating disasters.
Depending on what circles you tend to run in, you may know a lot of people who have whipped up a profile and put out their e-shingle at a dating site. Before you know it, you start to get excited at all of the possibilities. It's easy to look at the hundreds, if not thousands, of people on a dating site and see them all as potential dates (more or less), but it's important to be prepared to come across people looking to get very different things from their online experience.
If you just thought it might be a hoot to try the online thing, it can feel very off-putting to end up on a date with someone who wants to have kids by the same time next year. Or you may be the one ready to settle down; what fun is it for you to be on a date with someone who doesn't feel like getting into a relationship just now?
The fact is that it's fast, trendy, and very easy to put yourself out there. It's easy for everyone else too, which means that you're going to see all types -- and you're not all looking for the same thing. It's best to be prepared to come across people from every niche in the spectrum of seriousness towards dating. A quick who's who will make it easier to know which of the four general types you might run into online:
- Testers are just curious what all the fuss is about. They'll sample here and there; at least they can compare online dating stories with everyone else. If they happen to end up on a date with someone interesting, that's fine. If not, oh well.
- Serious shoppers are looking for The One. This is not a game. Imagine serious master plans, possibly including flow charts and mild forms of hypnotism in the quest for a life mate.
- Rebounders have a void to fill. Going online can be a way to get back in the game fast and to serve as a reminder that there really are thousands of other singles out there.
- Selective Daters are ready for a relationship, but are very choosy about who they will date. They're the marathon daters, the practical waiters. They are not planning on settling for anyone who's not the perfect match, even if it takes them years to find that person.
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